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Five words from <lj user="jetlagjen">

Home
...is not a place, but a feeling. It's partly place, partly people, but mostly memories. It's about feeling safe, having a way of retreating from the harshness that can be the world. Home used to mean Carlisle, and specifically my parents' house, but while it still feels familiar, I always feel slightly wrong there; neither fish nor fowl, not a guest, but not truly belonging either. Having said that, I have no ties to the place I now live; my ties are to my family. In many ways I no longer have a home.


Music
I miss music. This sounds odd as I listen to some music every day, usually in the car, but I miss making music. I miss the connection with others that comes from sharing the experience of music. The only person with whom I now share music on any sort of regular basis is my daughter, but it's been so long since I actually sang or played seriously that I just haven't the confidence to try and join any local groups. This is partly because they are all 'serious' and require auditions to join as well as committing to attend every week (something that's just not possible due to work commitments) and partly because I never had the confidence to really find a group that would enable me to play with the music - I always preferred having the music written to improvising.


Knitting
I love knitting; I find it soothing, but at the same time it seems to have become a holiday hobby for me; I just don't think to pick it up when at home. I'm also fairly slow, which means that I have an ever-increasing list of things I'd like to do (and a slowly increasing stash of yarn to use). I'm also fairly slow in actuallyknitting, partly because somewhere along the line I've picked up some bad technique, and it's very hard to change to a more correct way of doing it, and partly because I seem to like my fingernails too long so they get in the way!  It feels as though it also ought to be social; I certainly spend time online discussing it, but again never seem to manage to find people local to me with whom I can meet.


Memories
...are the most powerful things in the universe. They can be triggered by the smallest of things, and yet even many years later can be so clear that you would swear you were still there. They can also affect everything you feel and do now, even if you don't actually remember them, so that there are times when I can see myself reacting as if I were twenty years younger than I am...


Coffee
I am, um, notorious for my love need for coffee. This is partly because I am not a morning person, and caffeine is the easiest, safest, most socially acceptable way of dealing with the fact that the world requires me to function prior to 11am. I also just like the taste, which is why I'll quite happily drink decaf as long as it's not my first cup of the day!
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c8bt

May 2010

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